The Choices I've Made
by savannahhershey
Summary: This is a short canon one shot which imagines a letter Sybil may have written to her mother prior to her and Tom's wedding, explaining the choice she's made to leave Downton and that life behind.


**Disclaimer:** _Downton Abbey belongs to Julian Fellowes and ITV. This means I own nothing; except the few characters I've created for my own use._

**Summary:** This is a short canon one shot which imagines a letter Sybil may have written to her mother prior to her and Tom's wedding, explaining the choice she's made to leave Downton and that life behind.

**The Choices I've Made (S/T, K)**

May 13, 1919

Dublin

My Darling MaMa,

Thank you so much for you letter. I'm sorry we didn't get more of an opportunity to discuss my decisions before I departed. As you know Tom needed to return to Dublin in order to take up his new position. He is beginning what I know will be successful and worthwhile career. He true talents languished in Downton for so long, waiting for me.

You wished to know how I came to the decision to "leave the only life I've ever known behind"; the truth is it took me years. It wasn't an easy choice to make. In the end as hard as it is for me to write these words, I chose Tom. I came to realize that only life I wanted to live was one where he was a part of it. Tom has become so essential to my happiness, and with each passing day, he becomes more tied to my hopes for the future.

I know I've disappointed you and Papa for not wanting that life, the life of Downton. You know I've never been like Mary or Edith, dreaming of marrying the most eligible man who would have me. My wedding was never something I thought of, nor did ever I imagine finding a husband I could love and respect. Love and respect each other the way I know you and Papa have grown to love and respect one another other over the years.

I found that kind of love, in Tom. He truly is the best man I've ever met, I pray one day you will have the opportunity to know and value him as I do. Patience, intelligence, strength of character and compassion are just some of Tom's many virtues.

Our marriage will be a partnership between two people who's love is steeped in friendship and mutual respect. I am so looking forward to the day I can finally be addressed as Mrs. Branson and to the joy of us raising a family together.

I know you wanted to know when our "affair" began, but in all honesty I couldn't tell you. Maybe it was the first time he drove me to Ripon alone, when he told me had heard I was interested in women's right and gave me some pamphlets on the subject. Or it could've been the first time we intentionally read the same book and then discussed it afterwards. I'm sure the ledger in Papa's library is a chronicle of our unconventional courtship. There were so many little moments in the beginning where I just reveled in having a friend, one who understood me so completely. Someone who has never looked down on my ideas, but has only ever encouraged me.

I wasn't ready when he declared himself as he dropped me off in York all those years ago to train as a nurse. That didn't stop me from begging him not to leave Downton, I needed time to sort our my feelings. So the next two months I threw myself into nursing, to avoid dealing with what was in my heart. When I returned something between us had changed. The formality of our relationship had been replaced with familiarity, I now knew how he felt. Over time I allowed myself to feel what had been in my heart for so long. I not only cared about and respected him; I loved him. I know Tom will make me happy, because he has spent years already proving he can.

He does the most wonderfully sweet things when I least expect it. Such as when I was working at the hospital and Tom would drive me, there were times (usually when a transport of new patients arrived) I'd get into the backseat and find a small paper-bag waiting for me. Inside would be an eclair from the bakery in the village (you know how much I love them). He'd never say anything, but I always knew they were from him, trying to make my day a little brighter. Tom understood how hard those days were on me, seeing the recently wounded and dying, so he would do what he could for me. It wasn't the eclair that made me feel better, it was Tom being there supporting me that helped me through those days.

Know that nothing ever happened between us, until I accepted his proposal almost three months ago now. We've only ever kissed and Tom, even if you don't believe me, wants to do things properly. Although we had at first thought of marrying at Gretna Green, what we really want is church service. To declare ourselves in the proper order before God and our families.

I look forward to seeing you in several weeks when you come over for the wedding. After so long, I still can't believe that I will finally be Mrs. Branson!

Give my love to everyone there, especially Papa.

Your loving daughter,

Sybil


End file.
